MikMei

Well I have my points alright. Few days ago I just went somewhere uptown where people there still walk in barefoot (NO Kidding!) and dont use any computers nor do they know what internet is (That places does exist!) I walked here and there trying to find something interesting that I could shoot, each time I have my own expectation and alway think out of box. But then I felt something odd, suddenly there was a crowd of kids staring at me incredulously and with that confusing faces I couldn`t help but wondering what I`d done wrong. It`s making me uncomfortable, and the fact is I can`t stand being stared intensely for such long time when I am doing something that needs a high concentration. The kids there started to talk to each other out loud. The conversation went like this (Well this is just the translation):

1st Kid: What is that?
2nd Kid: I bet that`s what people use to photograph something.
1st Kid: Then what is she doing? (He kinda asked this question frequently)
2nd Kid: She`s taking some pictures I guess, I think it`s the flowers. (Hello, wasn`t that really obvious)
1st Kid: Let`s ask her where does she live! (As if I were an alien there, and I couldn`t understand their language TT.)

Oh my, being discussed like that wasn`t a great adventure of mine. I was distracted, but I tried to be patient, but I felt like I wanted to laugh too. But maybe it`s not too polite, even though they are kids, but who says they won`t get hurt or offensive when we just laugh at them?

And always when I go to the beach, I will enjoy myself too much until I can`t feel any pain. Once I was being bitten by mosquitos, and being surrounded by a group of the ants. Frankly I am a bit freak out, since I had a not-very nice experience with one of it. It`s very itchy TT oh my..

But for what it`s worth, I think it`s just one thing or two which any photographer should deal with. Anyway sometimes it`s really pay-off to see that we have captured such amazing pictures or just the nice ones
Good day!
Miki

In any circumstances, I prefer to use the term “passion” rather than “like, love, yearn” or even “obsess”. For example, I`d say that photography is my passion, or reading might be the one.

If you happen to have a dictionary or references around you, you can look up for the word “passion” and “obsess”.

Passion : (noun) a great enthusiasm for or enjoyment of sth
Obsess: (usu passive) to fill the mind of sb continually so that they can think of nothing else

Some people who are passionate with something can be pretty amazing. It totally shows a strong courage to do something that they love. And it`s driven under some control. And they are the ones who are capable of drawing any attraction of someone else.

But different from passion, people who obsess with sth can be categorized pretty much as a freak. Wehn they only can think of one thing continually instead of something else that really matters. It somehows show lack of intelligence. I know one person quite well to notice that actually we never have a real conversation. Everytime we talk, it will always fall into one area. Honestly, I do have the interest in that subject. But after a moment, it becomes tedious and appalling. I really kinda lose the interest to listen further. We can always tell what`s coming after that.

Keep in mind that people will just grow tired of something which is the same, redundant, continuous, etc. They need something fresh. As I`ve said in the first place, I don`t think I`ll talk about reading all the time to make people think I am cool, smart, or whatever. Where others will just think of me trying to hard to fit in, and it`s definitely uncool.

Passion is great under some limits, which makes obsess looks worse by thinking only one stuff all the time..

Today is the day of the announcement of my sister`s final exam. She passed it and she`s happy. But last night as I remember she was uptight. She told me that she would miss her school so much.

Suddenly my senior high school moments flashed back. It was a dreary day. Late at night, I couldn`t sleep at all visualizing what would happen the next day. Did I pass or fail? What would I do if I failed? In other words, I was anxious with the results. My confident level dropped from level ten to zero. And well, we all passed the final exams. We were all thrilled. And we started by coloring our uniform, putting the signatures all over it. I still have my uniform and I bring it to wherever I go.

well, that time I felt sad to be apart with my friends. But couldn`t help feeling happy where I could go and pass the hell of high school. Because high school was too much drama, gossips, and basketball. So I was quite happy to leave that behind. Because I was inclined that life after high school was much better. It`s cunningly manipulative. But also I vividly remember something in mind that most of us cried in the night of farewell (I know the preferable word is prom night, but what we had back then was nothing like prom night). Our heart were all torn apart.. Well, not that bad. Forget it, I am just exaggerating.

Now that I am in college, I miss all those time. I realize I couldn`t turn back time even though I really want it. But it`s all gone.

when we all have the time and happen to be in the same place, we use the opportunity to catch up with each other. Frankly, there are many things that have changed. We are not the same we used to be. We can`t do whatever we want because we`re not teens anymore. Don`t we all have the perfect image to keep? We start using the cool gadgets, talk in the language we don`t understand, some terms are really confusing, really. And what is really happening, who`s married, or who`s expecting baby. Eventually it`s all about who`s more than who. And suddenly the conversation becomes tense. And we don`t really connect as much as we did back in high school. What did we go wrong?

My point is, spend your time carefully. Every single thing is counted as precious as the big stuff coming. Appreciate the time you have with people around you. When you least expect it, it might be the moment you miss the most in the world.

Love,

A person who stays in a frantic place and needs to get out as soon as she can.

Lately these are what I`ve been doing..

This is still the first.. I have read “Tenth Circle”.. It`s a good novel but hard to read, and it`s truly complicated. So for you who love to read chicklit, don`t even think about buying this book.

I sing my heart out!!! It`s awesome when you can scream whenever you like

And I love to eat, since I cannot go out frequently, I just sit at home, and eat, eat, eat.. I finish my seaweed in 2 days..

..so I make decision that I should at least lose a bit of weight. This is a commitment, treadmill.. ^^

And then since I just have my new babe, I cannot live without it :)) so, I practice on taking good pictures to learn how to use manual not only automatic.. ^^

I sleep a lot, of course..
Well, that`s it.. Actually I do a lot more, but then sometimes my mind seems to stop working and thinking.. Haha.. I am waiting for something. I hope that it will come true. It seems impossible, but I won`t give up any hope.. but I don`t want to put my hope up high either.

Bye..
~mikmei~

As I just celebrated my 20th birthday, I have few things to share with you guys:

- I wanna thank you for throwing a surprise party for me. Thanks for Ajot, Indra, Achin, Iva, Nita, Maret, Ogi, Kelwin, Shu Yi, Foo Sean muach.. You made my day!

- And for the record, I truly enjoyed being bullied that day, walking around Inti while wearing the birthday hat, unforgettable moment
- Thanks for the cake, where it said “Stay Fat Forever” and there was a little kiss and mickey mouse there..

- Thanks for singing the birthday song to me in Mongolian (Ogi), in Chinese (shu Yi and Foo Sean), and Indra in Javanese. Haha..

- Thanks for letting me showered again, I did shower again that night.. so I am not that filthy and dirty ha ha ha.. ^^

- On my 20th birhtday, I lived for 1 hour longer, and I was in two countries Isn`t it amazing! I hope next time it`ll be 3 countries ha ha ha..

- I made three wishes, I hope all of them will come true.. ^^

- Finally, I want to thank my family for who I am today.. I won`t be here if it`s not for you and I really appreciate the 20 years I`ve been through. I hope I somehow can be someone that people can lean on. Thanks again.

_ Muach!

Today someone came to my store and asked for something. And the thing that he asked for was out of stock. Shockingly he took it different way when someone said “We don`t have it no more”. What he answered was really coming as a surprise.

He said, “I know you guys look down on me, because YOU think I don`t have the money.”

We reassured him that it`s not the problem, because in fact we really didn`t have it with us. And he said this again and walked away. I was shocked for few seconds and couldn`t believe what I just heard.

What I learn from this is, people have their own mark stamps on their mind. They think that they are always right, about who peope think they are. Let`s say if we had the stuff that he wanted, wouldn`t we want to sell it to him rather than to keep it for ourselves? We don`t open a museum or gallery, we open a store, not a place to display stuff that we have.

I think everyone needs to cool off his/her head. What the man did was bad, he had a bad thought about himself that he was poor and that`s why people treated him differently, while his prejudice was all wrong. But he walked away and didn`t take anyone`s opinion. And that`s sad. Because he still thinks that he is poor. Why he doesn`t want to change?

Treatment is not based by how thick your pocket is but rather your attitude. You deserve what you`ve done, not by what you are. Money can`t buy respect, one thing for sure. I don`t respect a filthy rich person if he doesn`t deserve it.

So, have a positive attitude, and bear in mind you are always right of what you think you are. Don`t let the negative thinking takes all over your life..

Cheers,

~mikmei~

Finally my 2 gruelling-years comes to an end. Surprisingly, somehow I didn`t feel like leaving Inti lol. I hate to leave my friends behind.

I remember clearly the day I came to Malaysia, I was scared, I was anxious, lonely, and I didn`t think that I could make it. That time, I was lost, I didn`t know much about diversity a country has. And I was really scared that I couldn`t adapt with the environment, with the people. But so much to my relief I did make it to this very point.

These two years perhaps had been the best years of my life. I knew so many great friends, friends that were really helpful and to lean on whenever I felt weak. Thank you so much..

I miss every single moment of these two years, from staying block R, apartment, to block C. I had experienced sharing room with people I barely knew that time, but I survived anyway

I still remember vividly the first time I went out, and how thrilled I was each time I could leave Inti for a moment to have fun out there. I couldn`t stand staying at one place for too long. So, I always longed for the weekend. Now that I am here, I will think of you guys. What have I missed while I am not there? That`s one appalling thought. 

I am scared that someday I will never meet them again. It is a strange feeling that you always meet people in your life, but at some points you should say good bye to them, and not knowing where the future might lead you. I know that this is the part where we move on, and spread our wings. I also realize that this is what life really means. A struggle. So I won`t give in for whatever reasons. I have reached this point. Even though sometimes I fall down, but I know this is good for me rather than standing still doing nothing.

So, thank you guys for the support that you have given me. I didn`t know what to do without you guys. I am truly sorry for the things that I`ve done wrong.

.. thanks

Blogging which is the easiest and perhaps the greatest way to express your feelings, your emotion, your wrecklessness.. Surely it`s good, but then despite the good relief feeling after we blog, it can be a pitfall for yourself if you don`t know the manner of blogging. With the right approach every one knows that it can be therapeutic. I love the blogs which are the ones with the story of life, such as a travelling a person just has lately, the big event of life, and some mellow blogs are acceptable.

Well it`s your choice to reveal every single secret of your life to public. However a little discretion is needed though. Aren`t you embarrasing of your own self when you talk about anything that is really out of context? You think you`re deep just to write everything inside, something really is poetic? Hah! That`s funny! I will actually smirk incredulously as I proceed on reading those stupid trashy words. You are too naive to think other people will care what you`ve been through, but your words are jokes and they are surely entertaining. Who can stand when you`re just showing your fool and what other people supposed to say when they don`t feel like hurting your feeling to tell you the truth.

And bitching about other people is absolutely a big NO! When you have a fight with your best buddy, or with your lover, you are not going to let the whole world to know what your problem is, are you? Except when you`re an attention-seeker, which this is inevitable. But for me, A PROBLEM is the thing you can keep it to yourself, no need to expose what you`re in to the whole world except you`re a very very important person. It`s not you who you`re talking about, it`s other people, don`t you think the people you backstab will be offended? You`re just exaggerating the whole things! It is pathetic you cannot say it out loud in real life, but then you are so good in the cyber world. If there`s something not right, tell the person straight away, it might hurt, but it`s better for them rather to find out in your blog.

I love to read blog, and this is the first time I got really annoyed to read a blog who`s bitching about other people. It is really getting on my nerve. I know I shouldn`t have read it, it made me sick just to think how stupid a person could be. Well, maybe the person is not grown-up, not just yet. If yes, he/she will think a thousand times before starts typing it onto the computer. I don`t know whether the person is talking about me or anyone else. But I am not really impressed. And I think the person should stop and think a better way to express his/her feelings.

For good and little bit of witty blogs that show the intelligence of certain people, the blogs really enlighten my day and make me smile, but for trashy blogs, just get out of my way!

My fave quotation of the week "A smile is a curve that sets everything straight".

Last weekend, I spent two days in George Town, Penang. I went there to take my Toefl, and it took about 5 hours to reach there. I went there with Shuyi and her parents, we stayed at Dorsett. Unfortunately I had the trip because I needed to take my toefl there, and we didn`t have enough time to travel around and see what Penang really was The old buildings really fascinated me, the cathedrals, the temples were truly, madly, deeply awesome!

About my Toefl, I just realized my test was on 2nd of March by last week so there`s not much preparation, and I really spent time in my hotel room to read the toefl book, it`s killing me, and I said to Shuyi "It`s torturous to spend time here by reading" but she said and I quote "Not many people can afford studying in a hotel room" ha ha ha.. lol.. :)) quite true, but I really hated to admit it.

On the day of the test, I didn`t have enough time to read for the 3 passages, they just gave us 1 hour to finish all the reading and answer all the questions. It made me sick go back and forth just to read what the passage really was, paragraph by paragraph. And also for the listening part, I made a mistake by thinking they did the repetition of the question because I saw the same picture appeared again. Then I wasted my time by asking the examiner why I got the same question. Luckily he asked me to proceed then I just realized that it was not the same question, I wasted more than 1 minute hearing nothing.. TT I didn`t expect I got 9 listening part that I should listen and take-note on! :(( Oh yeah and about the speaking, I was really nervous and anxious, even though the topic they gave it`s not really that hard, but then because of my anxiety I couldn`t answer much and I stopped in the middle of conversation, and I said much of "erm", "ah", and the like :(( Ha ha ha..

After finishing the test, we went for a walk in one local market where when we walked to the top of the market there was one temple.. :)) It was quite amazing with the lanterns all over the ceiling. I was hoping I went there at night so the lighting would be all over it, but I was already quite satisfied to go at daylight which the lanterns were still breathtaking!

I did buy some souvenirs, something to remember by that I went to Penang.. But I hope I can go there anytime soon.. ^^

Love,
miki x

I couldn`t imagine how this week would turn out or it would ever end, it was primarily because I had an endless task to finish. My research project has put me to the edge, I went to Midvalley just to find the resources that I needed, and why on earth also I chose the topic that I wasn`t really interested in. I bought book and it cost me a fortune, well not really that expensive considering other books really cost like more than Rm 100. And I spent time in library which I don`t like to do, since library always reminds me of the word "rushing", when I go there, it`s all about rushing something (last time I went was for preparing my presentation for Psychology). After searching and searching for my research project, I don`t have any evidence to support my work. So, though this week has passed, but then I should struggle for the next week, for the first draft, for the methodology, pfiuhhhh..And also I am relieved that I finish my micro presentation, I was so nervous, and I got the last turn, so can you imagine how many deep breaths have I taken? The lecturer keeps saying that she just randomly chooses people, but then why I always got the last part?  haha..

For some reasons now I will think twice before picking up a call. Since I didn`t have a pleasant call last time. I got some calls from a number that I didn`t know, and for so many times finally I picked up, and I was asked to do something that I didn`t want to, actually not "asked" but maybe "forced" to do. I couldn`t lie, because people would know if I lie even just hearing my voice then they can figure it out. So, after talking and talking I finally agreed on that term, I signed up myself. I just felt bad and guilty for not turning up, so that`s it.

I haven`t taken any pictures lately, but then I got some ideas of how to edit my pictures in different way, so from the dull and uninteresting picture can be changed to breathtaking picture, the way that we want it to be. So, my favorite picture this week is "Home". It`s taken long time ago, I just had the chance to have a look at it this week. So I just turned it to black and white which I think is more classic and vintage.

For the border or frame I just downloaded it in one website.. :))

Now, I really want to be at home, I miss my mom, dad, and my sister. I really want to be there with them.. :(( Sometimes I have the stupid thoughts of giving up everything.. But then looking back and counting what they`ve done, they`ve put just to make me keep going, I just can`t give in.

Love,
MikMei